P.s Read it if you want, because it’s really long. It’s just my thoughts and stuffs about my relationship. And pardon me for grammatical errors, fragments or sentence structure because I’m typing whatever it’s on my mind, it’s pretty hard to balance while having to focus what’s on my mind. Btw the thoughts are just random; therefore don’t expect the whole post to be in sequence/proper paragraph! 
The time now is twelve fifty and I’m still awake alone in living room after studying my lecture notes. And now, I can’t help but to stop whatever I was doing but to think about things that took place today.
You know what, relationship isn’t about just sweetness all the time, and it’s disagreement/conflicts that helps to make you understand each other better and then it brings relationship to another level. (of course when things gets out of hands, break up is probably the next outcome instead of what I’ve just mentioned above)
So today morning met Baby at my void deck as usual to school today, and then I was wearing something he don’t like me to wear (cause it’s too revealing) and I was too afraid to say anything and then we just kept quiet throughout the bus ride. I would be lying if I say I wasn’t depressed upon seeing both of us like this, but I didn’t want to show any emotions because I know I’m the one at fault. I’m not qualified to be sad or whatsoever, at least to me. I promised him about it, yet I didn’t keep it. Moreover it’s just a simple promise, yet I can’t even fulfill, I can’t blame him for being unhappy about it, agree? And whoever is commenting about this and forming perceptions about my boyfriend upon reading the above, stop. Just stop, because I’m not done with my story yet.
Some go like, ‘like that only, need to unhappy not?’ or you think it’s lame because it’s just a small promise. And to be honest, at the first second, I did thought like, ‘why does he need to get so upset?’ But of course, i used the time alone to think/reflect about it and also the possible reason why he reacted so.
And obviously, promise is a promise. It doesn’t matter about big or small, you break it mean you break it. My bad were, I didn’t keep my promise to him. I don’t want to be another one of those who hurt him in any ways before. I don’t want! In addition, he wasn’t being unreasonable in any way because he was just using his way to protect me (everyone have their own way to show concern, but you can’t exactly differ right and wrong method). Sometimes close friends says that he’s being too sensitive and blah. But to me, ‘past mould us into what and how we are today’ lets me understand that I should not mind about it because probably something happened in the past and made him so (?), and also it tells me that he cares. About me. He’s only being so, because I mind a lot to him in his heart (I believe). If I were nobody to him, would he even care? And I always believe that, if I can’t take his worst, then I don’t deserve his best then. Period.
But the thing is that his attitude might be quite bad at times, but it makes his ‘sweet side’ more plain to see. Even not being happy for some hours, he still hanged a smile back on his face when I came out of lift when my lesson ended. And that’s when I witness the power of a smile; it totally turned my heart upside down, and made everything better. It feels like nothing unhappy took place at all. Then he put out his hands and held my hands. I can’t seem to describe the scene well, but I swear, my whole world turned beautiful. So perfectly well now.
So, my point is, my boyfriend isn’t a perfect boyfriend as compared to everyone else in the whole wide universe, but he’s good enough for me alr. He’s more than qualified to be the best boyfriend in my heart. It’s like, maybe he doesn’t have a very good temper, I really know he dotes on my a lot. And the only reason he always forgave me for all the retarded things I did, is because, he loves me. But he always uses the hard way to express himself. I don’t know how to explain but I think it’s fine as long as I know it. This isn’t a part typed for him to see, but words and feeling right bottom from my heart.
We might have just been together for 6 months plus, (not long, but it’s definitely not a short period of time) but I can feel how the love is growing gradually and how much we start to understand each other more. Things have times when it turn bad, but I always believe it’ll turn out even better because of love. And because of him.
So yeah, I want to thank my Baby for everything he had/has done for me, forgiving me each time, loving me all the same, and also, I want to apologize to him for all the time when i make things turn bad yet he’s willing to accept all of it.
Baby, I love you 🙂
Okay, it’s kinda late! I think I should end here now and head for bed! Goodnight readers 🙂
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