I got on to Facebook and saw this notice on the Homepage, and I smiled. It’s happiness that I feel I supposed, like I’m so glad that we’ve been through so much till this far. It’s always easy to get into a relationship, but what is hard is what comes after that. And in our relationship, we’ve been through all the phrases that most couple need to, and I’m glad to say, we passed it all so far, and we’re doing so good so far.
In every relationship, sweetness decreased after the honeymoon period (3 months), and then conflicts comes in. But I’m so grateful that my honeymoon period last longer than anyone else, and we still have so much sweet and heart melting moments along the way.  But anyway, conflicts/quarrels is definitely normal because that’s when you’re in the mid of understanding each other and  sees the differences in him/her. And then the crucial part is if they actually accepts you for who you really are after knowing and realizing all your imperfections. Before we all get into a relationship or when just got together, we always tend to only show our best. We dressed up nicely, talked in a very friendly tone and etc, but after a long time, we will be a little loose with ourselves. Some say it as ‘the true colors is finally coming out’, but somehow it sounds derogatory, so I prefer to say it as ‘To be ourselves back’.
To me, relationship isn’t for two bored people to have date together so they have something to do, or to have shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold, someone to have lunch with. To me, it’s more like finding someone you feel comfortable being yourself, someone you love so much that you want to only have date with him/her, lean on his shoulders, hold his hands, and love every moment spent with him. And most importantly, someone you can picture to walk the rest of your life with.
During the 11 months with him, within all the happiness, we had quarrels and stuffs, but we always manage to settle it within a day or two, and we would stay up late till the next day to just iron things out. The latest we once had was till 6 a.m. Sometimes when I am very confused with my thoughts, and I tend to back out a little because I feel so afraid, then I use the time to cry instead of settling the problems, but he is always the one who took out all the patience to solve the problem after calming down. And I am so glad he didn’t give up on me , not even once till now, even all the times when I threw a bit of tantrums here and there. That time he called me 18 times so as to talk things out. And though I didn’t picked up cause I don’t think I have the voice to talk, but at least that shows how much I mean to me. For all the times, probably he wasn’t entirely right, but I threw much of tantrums too and he was the one who put up with all.
Of course, it was insecurities that caused all the behaviors. So one of the hardest thing is to overcome the insecurities that girls always have, and trust is the only solution to that. That’s why people say trust and commitments is the essentials to a long term relationship. But well, trust and jealousy is different. Jealousy can take place as long as something you see upsets you,and make you feel angry. Like when a girl text your boyfriend, you feel upset means you’re jealous, but the guy has no fault at all because he has no control over who texts him. But trust is when you believe (being worry doesn’t count) that something will take place between them. Okay, my language sucks, and so does my explanation. But I guess people who’re attached will get what I mean. I can’t pat on my chest and say loudly that ‘hey, i trust my bf 100%’ because nobody can-because that’s how we protect ourselves subconsciously. But you know at the very least, he’s the first guy (excluding my dad of course) I trusted so much. I started off with him with probably 50% (estimated figure cause I didn’t really go and think about it that time), and along the way I could feel the trust I have of him is growing. It feels like the maturing of the relationship, and that was because he is able to provide me a sense of security that no one is able to. Or rather, others tried to, but apparently they either lied to me, or they failed. So apparently, my boy did it with proven actions. I may still say him, and get jealous, but I can say for sure is, I trust him a lot. I will believe what he tells me. I’m not trying to encourage girls to trust/believe your boy blindly, but to observe and put the amount of trust you think he deserve. (not saying that my boy don’t deserve 100, but like I say, we all- by nature can’t believe entirely. And usually girls trust the guys on the day of marriage when they say ‘i do’. So probably the day of our marriage is the day I trust him 101% hehehehhe) And so I was able to trust my boy because I could see the efforts he put in into this relationship, and for me. Sometimes I know that my demands are too much, but my dearest bi will still do it because he doesn’t want me to get upset or feel unsafe ): Â But actually even sometimes I still get upset at him, actually I’m not doubting him at all- because I just want him to coax me only X:
And over the months, I learned many things along the way; to place trust in him, as well as, to compromise to make up for the flaws we both have. After all, Love is when you can love their flaws, imperfections, mistakes and still accept them for who they’re, and the ultimate test of a relationship is when you’re still holding on to each other’s hands while quarreling. We may not be the best and sweetest couple on Earth, but he is all I ever wanted, and be with because he is the one I look for whenever I’m sad or tired, and when I have something to share. He is definitely more than just a boyfriend, but my pillar of support and strength. And I like how he would just be there to meet me to give me a short hug when I tell him I miss him so much and wish to meet him so much after a small fight.
What really matters in a relationship is, two people putting in efforts to keep each other by their side (by not cheating etc), and does not see it as a tedious task at all, maybe to see it as a pleasure to do it actually. Well, a least it should happen naturally, like not cheating on your partner, be their motivation when things get a little hard for them, and hang a smile back on their face when they’re down?
Did I make relationship sounds so complicated? I’m sorry if I did, but it isn’t at all, because of the above I say happens very naturally actually. Most of the time, it’s actually joy and laughters all the time when you’re with him/her. Like how my baby doesn’t care about his image and burps, snore, and everything in front of me. He doesn’t even care if he smells bad or not, he just put raise his arms to make me smell or throw me his socks and make me smell, Â press my head down with his hands when I’m squatting, scare me from my back, tease + disturb + mock me like no end. It seems like he has to disturb me until I jump then he can sleep in sweet dreams x( But yeah, I’m smiling when I typing all these ; it’s like I’m actually feeling happiness behind all these complaints, and even when we’re quarreling. Ironic much? hahahahhaah !
OKAY, I’M STOPPING. It was just supposed to be just posting a picture, but I have no idea why words just flow out just like this! And just before I end this,
Wong Jun liang, We’re gonna make it till many years later yeah? (;
I love you so much ben dan ♥
I always feel giddy after facing the screen for long, and the keypad is damn scaling hot 😦
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